Saturday, February 4, 2012

A weight has been lifted!

I had my annual brain MRI this week (results are pending).  As I was laying there, I thought back to my first MRI experience and how much has changed since then.  There have been so many learning experiences along the way, some more painful than others.  We have bumbled along, backtracked, crashed, and beat our heads against the wall countless times.  There's no road map for this and even if there was, I'm positive we'd have thrown that away and blazed our own trail.  So, here are a few nuggets I've picked up in the last 18 months: 
  • Doctors are human and will be wrong now and then.
  • Never, ever, ever, EVER go to a specialist alone, even if you think it's just a routine visit.  Just don't!
  • Laughter really is the best medicine, just not while you're trying to hold your tinkle.
  • Not everyone in the health care system actually cares.
  • Sometimes you have to throw a fit to get people to listen.  Make sure you mean what you say.  And be prepared to apologize.
  • If you're a patient in the hospital, accept the fact that you WILL be embarrassed.  They know it, so just embrace it and move on.
  • Doctors don't always have all the answers.  "We don't know" will just have to suffice.
  • Don't ask "what's that smell?" in a hospital.
  • It really and truly can get worse.  I promise.  It can also get better.
  • It's OK to tell a doctor no.
  • If you and your doctor can't effectively communicate, find a new one.  He/she is the one with the knowledge and should be willing to listen to your questions and answer them without putting you off.  Remember, YOU (and your insurance) are paying him/her. 
  • You can be hopeful and realistic at the same time.
  • It's OK to feel sorry for yourself now and then.  It's not weak.  It's human nature.  Grieving for oneself should be expected.  Just make sure you pick yourself up and move along.
  • Take care of yourself as well as you'd take care of your children.  They need you!  You're capable of more than you think!  Don't underestimate yourself.  Ever. 

We're in the middle of a big change right now.  Let me preface this by letting you know I am a fairly predictable person.  I don't like surprises.  I like order.  I like things planned out to the nth degree.  I am very cautious and make very well thought out, calculated decisions with backup plans and every imaginable scenario covered.  I do NOT fly by the seat of my pants.  But, after seven years at my job, due to a long string of ugly events, Cory and I agreed it's time for me to move on.  So, I quit my job this week.  I don't have anything else lined up either.  EEK!  This is just what needed to happen though.  We have some rough backup plans, but nothing definite.  And I'm OK with that.  I am very much at peace right now.  In the weeks leading up to this decision, I'd been extremely stressed.  I've fully expected some sort of flare up to come join in the fracas.  There was one incident about two weeks ago, but we're not sure if it's the MS, an anxiety attack, or being sick (allergies + congestion).  I had this horrible sensation in my chest and diaphragm area.  It was like I had a string around my insides and someone was cinching it.  It was excruciating.  It scared the dickens out of us.  I went on to work and eventually the pain subsided.  I'd really like not to experience that again.  I also had a migraine yesterday.  I knew that was going to happen.  I talked to my doctor about them a while back and expressed my aggravation that my migraines always happen on the weekends so I wondered if there was something in my home that was causing them.  He explained that it sounded like they're brought on by stress, so once the stressful situation is out of the way, the body lets it's defenses down and whammo!  Migraine City!  Lovely.  He also gave me a prescription for what I call my "chill pills" to kick the migraine's butt.  Use to, I'd suffer through them with a cool washcloth over my eyes for the entire day.  Now, I take the chill pill when I feel it coming and it knocks me out for a few hours and I wake up feeling human.  I'm not a huge fan of taking medications but if you've ever had a migraine, you understand it is absolute misery.  I've tried everything imaginable.  I am soooo incredibly glad my doctor gave me that.  I'm hopeful that's the worst of what's going to happen.  The stress has been lifted and I feel completely revived and like a new person.  I feel like I was living in darkness for a long time and didn't even realize it, and now I'm back out in the warm sunshine.  I'm excited!  It feels good! 


  1. My friend just sent me some thing for this site I would love to join this site if possible. My e mail adress is
    God Bless, Kat
    I dont know what you need on the comment part, im just a person who would love to receive more

  2. Hello Sarah,My name is Kathy (Kat) I dont know if we ever met, I went to your dads Oma church for about 3 yrs.I am the 1 that was always bringing chelsie gifts I peobley niss spelled her name. Girl you need to start a book. I am writing 1 right now but your gift needs to be read. Im posting your site address on my FB page so others can read them. You have a awesome Dad he was my pastor, mentor and my friend.I have moved about 200 miles from there and miss it so much. Tell Chelcie Hello and hug her for me,My name is Kathy they call me Kat but you have a awesome giftthat people need to read, GBU, Kat

  3. Sarah, thank you for this post. Your journey with MS can and will be difficult to deal with, and often very frustrating. It takes courage to write about your day to day fears, but I feel that God is leading you to do so. I have acquaintances with MS, and it's so difficult to explain the uncertainty of each day, or for that matter, mornings verses afternoon. As with any disease that the medical profession doesn't have the answer for, it's important that you (as the diseased person--ugh that sounds terrible) be the one to educate as many people as possible about your medical diagnosis. My son has Tourette's, and there are too few people who are aware of everything that can involve. It's one of those "invisible" diseases where he "looks" normal, so there must be some "sin-related" issue at work. I do NOT prescribe to that theory, and left a church I very much loved because the youth pastor had that line of thought. I DO believe that if God isn't punishing your for your sin, HE MUST have reasons that we don't know about, which CAN be used to GLORIFY HIM, if we allow HIM entrance into our thoughts and hearts. May your walk today bring peace to others, and may HE Bless you abundantly. There ARE no guarantees in life, other than Birth and Death. From one to the other, Jesus can and will be our confidant and companion. Kat Zeagler introduced me to your blog, and I am VERY glad she did. Be Blessed, as your namesake was!