I have now been doing my treatments for 17 days. That is 17 pokes with a needle. 17 "oh nuts!! Here we go again"s. 17 times of saying "THIS SUCKS!!". It's gotten old already. I'm tired of it. Here is the beginning of a blog entry I started a few days ago:
Tonight will be my third night of treatments. I'm really not looking forward to it. Ok, I'm flat out dreading it. Every time I do it, it makes me more anxious about doing it again. This sucks. I can tell my my inner four year old wants to make an appearance and throw a tantrum. <sigh>
Cory interrupted at that point and said it was time to do the treatment. I didn't get around to finishing the entry. This blog thing is kind of difficult. It's actually quite a challenge for me to just put my true thoughts and feelings out for the entire world to see. I feel kinda naked! I don't want to be pitied or judged. I really don't want you to feel sorry for me. The two things that have been a blessing from God through this are 1) my support network of friends and family and 2) a sense of humor. Without both of those I would be most certainly in a world of despair. So, I'm alright. Not loving it by any means, but enduring it as best we can together and with a smile, however crazy that smile may look.
Now, about the treatments...I can't help but roll my eyes when I think of it. Who's brilliant idea was this?! I mean really! This is 2011 and still the most effective MS treatment is a daily punishment? Are you kidding me? There is an oral pill on the market but that's kind of a "coming out with your bazookas blazing" sort of treatment. The side affects are pretty crazy and definitely not worth the risk. I'm at the "peering around the corner with the pellet gun" stage. Hopefully we never need the heavy artillery.